Finding the source.. Using the Five Why’s
The beginning of realizing the life of your dreams is to know who you are and the life that you want. For some, this is easy and for others it is a constant struggle. It’s okay. Maybe you knew what you wanted, and you don’t want it as much as you did, and long for something else. It’s okay. The important thing is to trust yourself. Deep down you know what is best for you.
The important thing is that you go with the flow of your life and not fight it.
Don’t get me wrong you can always improve it, but avoid fighting against your own life. Everyone has conflict in his life and the trick is to not fight the struggle.
Consider the person who is drowning and begins to fight the person who has come to save him. To the outsider, it looks like the drowning person is fighting the rescuer but what is really happening is the person is grasping for life. Fighting and grasping are very similar. Fighting is a drive to overcome the problem, and grasping is a desperate attempt to save yourself from the problem. What causes a person to fight or grasp? Fear.
Fear is not a good place to be, but you can use it as a tool to figure out where you want to be.
If you find yourself in a place of fear, the best thing to do is do a self check of why you are afraid. No one likes to admit he is afraid and sometimes we cover our fear with anger. Ask yourself why you are angry? Ask yourself why you are afraid?
Five Why’s
One technique to figuring out the real source of a problem is called the Five Why’s. This technique is often used as a business process improvement exercise in Six Sigma. What you do is ask yourself a “why” question and take the answer to that question and ask “why” again. After about Five Why’s”, you should have a good understanding of the root cause or source of the problem. Once you have a good idea of the source, you can focus your energies on improving the source of the problem.
Here’s an example of the Five Whys.
- Why am I angry? Answer: I’m not getting out of life what I expected.
- Why aren’t you getting out of life what you expected? Answer: I have too many obligations and have no time left to do what I want to do.
- Why do you have too many obligations and no time left? Answer: I have to do it all.
- Why do you have to do it all? Answer: It’s what is expected.
- Why is it expected? Answer: (Fill in your answer).
It may take more or less than five why’s, but try to get to five at a minimum. You will know when you’ve hit the root of the problem.
Journal Exercise:
Make a list of areas of your life that you want to improve or change. From that list, select two or three to do the five why exercise. Once you have some root causes, brainstorm some ideas to overcome those root causes.
Challenge:
What fear is holding you back? What steps can you take to overcome that fear?
